Things have a weird way of working in my world. Call it divine intervention, call it spiritual growth, angels or a series of coincidences that brings me right to this place here and now.

Yesterday I was binging and purging and as a food, drug addict, shopaholic in recovery I know that I’m in trouble. The dis’s show up the dis-comfort, the dis-ease, dis-content totally dis-turbed and dis-engaged. I lose time by projecting either into the past or the future, I lose self esteem because I don’t look through rose colored glasses being caress myself with feathers. I peer in…


Sometimes making a decision, is so hard.

Today I’m faced with a quandary. An opportunity, a big step filled with obligation and responsibility, a big decision that will forever impact and change my life. There’s no safety net no cushion just a huge leap of faith, a free fall. I’m standing on the precipice looking over the edge. I can see clearly all the possibilities the picture and in it’s shadow the reflection of every fear, doubt and what if.

I’ve been looking to make a change but this one is huge, way bigger than my comfort zone, so much…


Is real love a guarantee, a figment of our imagination or an expectation whereby we gage our success or failure in this life?

My parents had a real love affair, a passion for each other, a true friendship and they were each others’ first thought and last experience. I have seen what that looks like, yes I would love to have thoughts of someone consuming my mind, those moments during the day when I just smile because I thought of them. That bond with a somebody where my greatest hope for them is that they are safe, healthy and happy…


I am 55 year old sexy woman. Most days I attend a meeting where I’m often the only woman in a room filled with men and testosterone. Many times it feels like I’m walking into an old boys’ club, half expecting to be stepping back in time and being assaulted with the smell of cigar smoke, stale beer and being privy to stories of the good ol’days. These are my brothers, who I love, adore and appreciate.

Most days I wake up, go to gym, eat clean and work hard to feel, look and smell good. I like wearing what…


My kaleidoscope my Life. Showing up with its challenges — some terrifying, some paralyzing, some happy, some of them heartbreaking and some awe inspiringly magnificent, yes breath taking and humbling.

Those opportunities and defining moments. The little steps, the happy dances, the lyrics that form the songs of our life. Some are angelic orchestras, others are up close and personal, haunting the acoustic guitar which illuminates the solitude, the a capella choirs and the quiet whisper that either erupts into a scream, or a song, a dance or just fades away.

Sometimes I need a hand to hold onto, a…


Living through Covid/ Corona times I’ve had the opportunity to take a look at and re-evaluate my values, what’s important to me. What I can let go of and what I will lose if I don’t take action? I’ve come to cherish how blessed I am that my worst case scenario is being in a beautiful home, with food on the table, surrounded by my family, driving my car to the store where the shelves are stocked with every single thing I could need. I have money in my pocket and most importantly I am healthy. …


As long as the focus is kept on race the paradigm never ends and the focus becomes the superficial stuff that makes us different. When the focus becomes focusing on our similarities, our feelings and doing the next right thing, value our humanity, share honestly and become vulnerable, where our words and actions are fueled by love, empathy and compassion. That’s when healing occurs, walls crumble and real Change happens.

My heart is so sore with what’s going on in this country, it takes me back to places and times in my past which are filled with guilt, shame, confusion…


Leaf in the wind

When he breathed she felt it. Their hearts intertwined. Like a leaf on a silk thread a spider web dancing in the breeze. Him the right…


When I was younger I decided that mediocrity was bad, a death sentence, a place where excitement went to die, and I became dull. I thought being stationary and having everything you ever needed was the end of the road because there was nothing left to look forward to. Granted, my expectation was to live the fullest, my motto “I’ll try anything once, unless I like it” and die in a blaze of glory by 30.

I remember in my early 20’s being high on the beach, at an impromptu bonfire on Llandudno beach, Cape Town, South Africa. BBQ’ing, drinking…

Olive's Goyl

Life ebbs, the changes that I’m going though, are opportunities for growth & exploration. I find myself needing to write, be of service & share my story.

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